Dan Rodandan: Dan Rodandan. 917-214-8DAN. And if you don't have a telephone, like I don't have a telephone, I actually just have an answering service that goes directly to my iPod Touch. And if you are anything like me, you cannot call anyone. Not even 911. Which I probably would have taken advantage of a couple times. Glad I didn't. Because snitches get stitches. And I learned that. Well, somebody else learned that the hard way and I looked at them. Anyway, you can email me. You can email me at teachingactorshowtoact@gmail.com. teachingactorshowtoact@gmail.com. Or my website, www.teachingactorshowtoact.com. Same as the email address, except you don't put at gmail in it. So even if you make a mistake, you might get to the right place. That's what I'm hoping. Sort of what I'm hoping about, about my future. Try to be okay with all the mistakes because you might end up in the right place at the right time. Talking about being in the right place at the right time, I have an excellent guest today. I booked him. I honestly don't know how I did it. I was spam emailing everybody on IMDb, and he wrote back and he said, hey, I'll be in the area. Me and my wife, we want to go to the beach. We like going to the beach. See the beach life. For the people rolling around on their roller skates and eating their churros, getting their fake tattoos, their henna tattoos. That would be nice, huh? Get yourself a henna tattoo. It's always a mistake, but it's not permanent like a real tattoo. Get a little hamburger on my foot. If I were to get a tattoo, that's what I would want. I would want a little hamburger right on my foot there. So people would say, do you have a tattoo? I'd be like, you bet. It's a hamburger on my foot. I'm wearing sandals. I don't know if I've ever explained to everybody why I wear sandals, but I do wear sandals because I got a bad case of trench foot. Bad case of trench foot about 15 years ago. I kept wearing the same socks over and over again because I thought, who cares? Apparently that's not a great idea because the sweat that lives in your socks creates trench foot bacteria and one of my toes almost fell off. Went to the doctor, sort of cracked open. What looked like earwax was coming out. At that point, I was like, alright. Alright, I gotta launder my socks, I guess. But he said, nope, it's too late for that. You gotta wear sandals forever. So I do. Something I have to bring up at every job interview. Haven't had too many of those lately. Something I have to bring up at every audition, but I usually don't make it that far. I don't get that far into the audition to say, hey, by the way, if you cast me, I will not be able to wear shoes because my goddamn feet will fall off. Anyway, I'm very excited. I mean, the man's career, it spans generations. Joel Godard. That's right, you heard right. Joel Godard. Handsome guy, beautiful voice, long hair like a pony. You may know him as a comedy weatherman in Georgia. Not Jordan. Comedy weatherman in Jordan. Is there anything to laugh about in Jordan? I don't think so. It's a lot of turmoil. Georgia, on the other hand, well, it depends on what Georgia. I guess you know Georgia and Russia, that seems to be a place where a lot of spy movies happen. But the Georgia I'm talking about is the Georgia of the South. You know, where this country has a very complicated history, but you don't need to bring that up when you're joking about the weather. He was a comedy weatherman on WMAZ in Georgia. He said, hey, it's partly cloudy with a chance of jokes, and the jokes come from me. I'm Joel Godard. After that, he basically just became the premier voice man in the business. Did the voicing for Conan O'Brien. Hey, Conan O'Brien! He would say that. Then he would say, hey, welcome to the Thanksgiving Day Parade. This is where the parade goes. Then he would also speak Spanish for Kodak. Beautiful voice. So I'm going to his hotel. I'm going to get there. I have not gone there yet. I am very excited. I am going to get on the train in a minute. By train, I mean bus. By bus, I mean walking. I'm going to walk to this man's hotel. Play the music. Traveling music. Play that Dan Rodandan traveling music. (traveling music) Dan Rodandan: All right, and I'm here on location. I have my guest with me. Very, very lucky to have him. One of the most beautiful voices in the business. Would you mind, uh, uh, introducing yourself? Joel Godard: Hey now, and this is Joel Godard. How are you? Dan Rodandan: Joel Godard. That's right. The voice of Conan O'Brien and the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, is that correct? Joel Godard: I was, through 2010, for about 11 or 12 years. Dan Rodandan: 11 or 12 years. That is... Joel Godard: On NBC. Dan Rodandan: NBC. Yeah. Love to work for them some days. You're sort of an NBC guy, is that right? You dealt with them, you worked with them quite a bit. Joel Godard: They were very nice to me. I was in the building for about 27 years. I started as a staff announcer, well, actually a vacation relief announcer in June of '84. The contract was from 4 June to 10 October, and then I'd be back home. And one of the first, one of the second or third vacation relief guys hired because of the attrition clause contract of 1967 between after our union, you know, the network contract with the networks. And then a man whom I had, and this is no joke, the man whom I admired since my college days, Mel Brandt, B-R-A-N-D-T, Mel Brandt. The guy, you know, he said, the following program has been brought to you in living color on NBC. That wonderful voice, that was Mel Brandt. Anyway, he announced his retirement in August of that year. Dan Rodandan: And you just swooped in, huh? Joel Godard: And I was, and I don't know how it happened, but I was the one whom they hired to fill that slot. Dan Rodandan: That's fantastic. I've got to tell you, I did not understand a lot of the things that you just said, but that voice, it's a beautiful sound of a kitten purring into my ear. I can't even. I'm falling asleep right now in the most comfortable blanket of that beautiful voice. I've got to wake myself up here. I'm going to probably slap myself in the face, get a little water. I love it a little bit when you talk voice. Voice, voice. What tips do you have for somebody who's trying to break into the voice business? Would you say smoke two or three packs of cigarettes a day or something to that effect? How do you get that beautiful sound? Joel Godard: Well, I tell you, I don't know if it's a beautiful sound, but in your grandparents' day, everybody in the world smoked. Yeah, in fact, that was medicinal. And that's why people talk about bogarting something. It goes all the way back that far in the movies to Humphrey Bogart, as you know. Dan Rodandan: So when you bogart something, especially in the sense of Humphrey Bogart, does that mean that you're just selfish with it? You're holding on to it? You don't let it go? It's all for you. It's all for Bogart there. You're just standing there with it hanging out of your mouth and not sharing. So just keeping it all to yourself. Joel Godard: Right. Dan Rodandan: What are the things that you like to keep to yourself? Joel Godard: Money. Dan Rodandan: Money, sure. Joel Godard: Women, once upon a time. Dan Rodandan: Money, women. Is there anything more important? Joel Godard: No. Dan Rodandan: I don't think so either. Except drugs sometimes, I guess, depending. Once you get your hands on. Joel Godard: Yep. You know, my character on Conan, notwithstanding, because in the last 10 years of the show, it started out, Joel, the sad stuff. My character had a very adulterous wife whose boyfriend beat me at the door when I showed up at home, and I got a lot of laughs. And then finally, because I grew a ponytail, which I could not have done in the United States Navy when I had been there many, you know, several decades before, I grew a ponytail. I guess they seized upon that, the writers did, to instead make me. They see a ponytail. They think a battered husband. Well, yeah, but they decided they fancied me, as they say, playing for the other team. Dan Rodandan: Aha. Joel Godard: And they had me with a penchant for Asian toy boys. Dan Rodandan: Sort of a pinch hitter out there looking for the catamite. Joel Godard: Right. And, you know, Latin studs and Asian toy boys. And the doorman in the building where we lived in Manhattan, they said, Mrs. Godard, what do you think about that? And she said, I'm offended all the way to the bank. Dan Rodandan: Offended all the way to the bank. Joel Godard: Which is borrowed from Liberace, which is way before your time. Dan Rodandan: Right, who also played for a different team. Joel Godard: Yeah, apparently. Dan Rodandan: So I was looking at your website. I saw that you did, is this correct? You did a Kodak commercial, a Spanish language Kodak commercial? Joel Godard: Yeah, the payoff line on it was papel Kodak. Cada momento, un recuerdo. Papel Kodak. Dan Rodandan: Yeah, so it means every moment a memory. Joel Godard: Aha. Dan Rodandan: And you speak Spanish? How many languages do you speak? Joel Godard: English is by far the best, and Spanish is next. And I suppose I'm really better at Japanese than Russian or Brazilian Portuguese or Italian or Greek. I had a Greek landlady once. Dan Rodandan: Man of many languages. Joel Godard: That was my passion. This was my first. I don't work in my first talent. Languages. Dan Rodandan: Languages. I also see here that you were into chemistry in pre-med. Is that correct? Joel Godard: That was my degree. I was accepted to Emory University Medical School. And you guys are probably old enough already to have had this experience. Everybody in life eventually. Two women. You can't have them both. You're going to have to decide. So don't stare at your shoes when I say that because I know you've been there. Dan Rodandan: Yeah, you've got to decide. Because they do not always want to show up together. Joel Godard: That's right. That was the first time between broadcasting and medicine, and I just couldn't give it up. Dan Rodandan: You were the more attractive lady. Joel Godard: Like a bad woman. I couldn't give this up. Dan Rodandan: You had the sultry voice, so you seduced that lady. Joel Godard: As I say, I don't work in my first talent, but I've always worked in my first love. I can remember when I started being interested in foreign languages. I was about five, six years old. I can't remember when I started wanting to talk on the radio, which was my language at the time. And it goes back before I remember. Dan Rodandan: That's amazing. Joel Godard: And I couldn't give it up. Dan Rodandan: Is there anything that you haven't done? Is there anything that you'd still like to do? I mean, it sounds like you've done everything back and forth and over again. Joel Godard: I've always been fascinated with welding. I never learned welding. Dan Rodandan: Never learned welding. I got one up on you there. It sounds like a joke, but it's true. I have a welding merit badge, if you can believe it. Joel Godard: To what did you weld it? Where is it now? On a post in a garage somewhere? Dan Rodandan: Yeah, it's in a church somewhere, in a church basement, which is where I was not in the Boy Scouts for a long time, but when I was there, they had me weld something without a mask, and I have the scars to prove it. Oh, yes. So that's one way that I'm up on Joel Godard. So you were a comedy weatherman. Is that true? What does that mean? Joel Godard: Well, I didn't put it on my resume as comedy weatherman. Dan Rodandan: You were a stand-up weatherman. Joel Godard: But back in those days, I was a stand-up weather guy. I called it a laughing boy stand-up weather guy. Because I don't know. You don't see many guys throwing zingers now as stand-up weathermen. But back then we did sort of like disc jockeys. And I was big on zingers. I'd been a disc jockey for years. Things like, hey, it's raining cats and dogs. Just kidding. Not literally. Yeah. And I don't remember what it was, but I would throw zingers around and say, you know, if I got a place with a strange name, you know, Winnemucca, you know, things like that. Dan Rodandan: Winnemucca. I think Winnemucca is in Nevada. Joel Godard: Nevada. Apalachicola. So, you know, there's things that roll off the tongue nicely for me, but maybe not for you. Dan Rodandan: Not for me, no. Not a lot rolls off the tongue. Very dry mouth, I would say, medically speaking. I'm not very hydrated. The water in my house is not clean, I would say. So it's nice to be here. It's nice to be here. Maybe rust is good for you, you know. Joel Godard: Sure, yeah, you know. I mean, I can't tell the difference. It tastes like blood anyway. Dan Rodandan: Whatever do you mean? So I've got these... I was wondering if you wouldn't mind reading some of these promo spots for me, just so that we and the listening audience can see how a pro does it. Joel Godard: You're kidding me, right? Dan Rodandan: Well, I know. I'm dead serious. I'm deadly serious. I'm in your home right now, and I'm a dangerous man, so I was hoping that you could do my bidding, as it were. Joel Godard: Am I kidding? Is he kidding? I've got to do this to get the negatives back, for Christ's sake? Dan Rodandan: If you want the negatives back, yes. And all the backups, I would say we'll go through all these. I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to read it first, and then you critique me and show me how it's done. Is that all right? Joel Godard: Sure. Dan Rodandan: Hi, I'm Joel Godard. And when I don't have my iPod handy or an internet connection, I treat my ears to the soothing sounds of Hennessy AM FM radio, now in stereo. Scale of 1 to 10, what do you think? Joel Godard: Scale of 1 to 10, yeah. You're a good 3 there, I'm telling you. Dan Rodandan: Solid three. Joel Godard: Yeah, yeah. Dan Rodandan: Well, let's see you at 10. Joel Godard: Hi, I'm Joel Godard, and when I don't have my iPod handy or an internet connection, I treat my ears to the soothing sounds of my Hennessy AM FM radio, now in stereo. Dan Rodandan: Love the way you said soothing there. Joel Godard: Thank you. Dan Rodandan: That was unbelievable. I felt like I was riding in a wave. I feel like it crested, I fell off, I'm in the water, I'm scared, but I'm warm. It was absolutely lovely. Joel Godard: It's a good two and a half, no? Dan Rodandan: Oh, I would say a ten and a half. I hate to admit it, but I think you bested me on that one. Joel Godard, one. Dan Rodandan, zero. Let's try the next one. Hi, I'm Joel Godard. Like you, most domestic beers make me feel angry and demented when I drink them, but not Natural Light Ice. Remember, it's not a hangover if the party ain't over. Drink responsibly. Joel Godard: All right. Dan Rodandan: Joel Godard, two. Dan Rodandan, zero. I'm not even going to try that. That hurt. Joel Godard: Hi, I'm Joel Godard. Fellas, when it's time to get intimate with that someone special, and you don't feel you've got the steel to tame it, pop a couple of the brand-new Cialis chewables and make it special every time. Not to be used with dentures. Make it special every time. Dan Rodandan: Now, that's a nice, that's a nice, yeah, okay. You like to make it special, don't you? Joel Godard: Yeah. It's always got to be special, every single time. Dan Rodandan: Well, sometimes you're in a hurry. Joel Godard: Yeah, we went to Clint Eastwood, did the movie, it was *A Fistful of Dollars*, but somehow I'm thinking of a fistful of something when I read, oh, never mind. Dan Rodandan: Okay. I'm Joel Godard. My doctor said I couldn't eat anymore, but let me take two. Take two. Roll it. Speed. Joel Godard: Hi, I'm Joel Godard. When my doctor said I couldn't eat any more fruit, I thought my smoothie days were over until I found Dr. Jordan Bronfman's... Dan Rodandan: Bronfman's? Joel Godard: Bronfman. Dan Rodandan: Bronfman. Joel Godard: Bronfman. Where'd he get a name like that? Dan Rodandan: Jordan Bronfman. I don't know. I met the guy in the back of a Whole Foods. He was cross-eyed, but he seemed to know a lot about fruit. Joel Godard: Hi, I'm Joel Godard. When my doctor said I couldn't eat any more fruit, I thought my smoothie days were over until I found Dr. Jordan Bronfman's fruit and vegetable free smoothies. They contain everything you love in a smoothie. The smoothness, the ice, and the straw. Dan Rodandan: Chewable, I hope. Joel Godard: Don't let doctors dictate your lifestyle. Try Dr. Jordan Bronfman's fruit and vegetable free... Dan Rodandan: Oh, it's free smoothies? Joel Godard: It's vegetable free. So it's not vegetable free smoothies. It's vegetable-free smoothies. Dan Rodandan: You know, honestly, I don't know. Joel Godard: Oh. Dan Rodandan: Try the fruit and vegetable. Free smoothies today. See, that works. That works. Let's go that way. Joel Godard: Yeah. Apologies to all the Bronfmans out there. Dan Rodandan: Oh, Bronfman. Your name is a disaster. It cannot even be. There's nothing commercial about the name Bronfman. I can't even say it. Joel Godard: Bronfman. It's like you've got to add about 18 dB at 5,000 hertz, you know, for them to understand Bronfman. Bronfman. You see? Dan Rodandan: Okay. So, I lost my train. Joel Godard: I thought you have to. Let's just take it right from Don't Let Doctors Dictate Your Lifestyle. Try Dr. Jordan Bronfman. That's what happens to me. I was on 50 takes once in a session on 23rd Street. Dan Rodandan: Okay, don't let doctors dictate your lifestyle. Try Dr. Jordan Bronfman's fruit and vegetable-free smoothies today. Joel Godard: But see, the Bronfman's doesn't roll off my tongue very well. I would say we're just going to call him Jordan Broad-Effman. Dan Rodandan: Jordan Broad-Effman, okay. I shouldn't drink before these interviews. Joel Godard: No, you should. I did. Dan Rodandan: Is it normal that you just change people's names in the copy? Usually, they don't frown on that, you just say whatever you like? Because I would love to start doing that in my auditions. Joel Godard: Well, maybe that's why they don't let me do many commercials anymore. There's something else I was going to say, and of course it went right out of my mind. That's why God made writers. Hi, I'm Joel Godard. If you or a loved one has been using the birth control medication Yangtze and encountered any of the following symptoms, dry tears, shortness of hair, well, it depends on where you look, doesn't it? Wet armpits, gorilla breath, chin rash, eye rolling, or phantom stubbed toe, you could be eligible for a cash settlement. Contact the Damon and Wayne's Office of the Law. Dan Rodandan: Office of the Law. I love it. Office of the Law. Have you ever had any of these things? The shortness of hair, the wet armpits, the gorilla breath, chin rash? I know I've definitely had the phantom stubbed toe, but I had that right on the tip of my nose. I guess you would call that a phantom broken nose? Joel Godard: Phantom broken nose. Well, after a couple of parties, I've woken up with that and wondered, well, never mind. Dan Rodandan: No, please go on. Joel Godard: Yeah, you know, sometimes you wake up with injuries in whatever area. Dan Rodandan: I tell you. I can't recall how you got them, you know? Joel Godard: I completely relate. Dan Rodandan: Most mornings I wake up in places that I don't recognize just covered in open wounds. Joel Godard: Right. Just so you don't get the burning sensation. Okay. So, this is the last one here. Hi, I'm Joel Godard. Are you like me living in your... No. Let's see. Oh. Am I my golden years? Golden years. Hi, I'm Joel Godard. Are you like me living in your golden years and still haven't learned how to ride a bicycle? It's never too late to open your horizons and see the neighborhood. Join geriatric bike enthusiast Shoe de Pantry for his $40 intro to bicycling course today. Dan Rodandan: That song, I Don't Want to Tickle, I just want my bicycle. You never... Joel Godard: Yeah, I know the song, I Don't Want Her, You Can Have Her, She's Too Fat For Me. I know that song. Dan Rodandan: You do amaze me there. Joel Godard: That's from your great-grandfather's time. I Don't Want Her, You Can Have Her, She's Too Fat For Me. Yeah. Yeah, I've been there. Well, not really. I'll take most sizes and shapes. I'm not very discriminating. Dan Rodandan: Well, be politically correct. You should say, zaftig. Joel Godard: Yeah, I Don't Want Her, You Can Have Her, She's a bit too Rubenesque for me. Dan Rodandan: Right. I think it's Z-A-F-T-I-G, zaftig, right? Joel Godard: Zaftig. Yeah. Bulbous. Dan Rodandan: Yes, yes. Joel Godard: Bovine. Dan Rodandan: Yes. Oh, yes, bovine, yes. Yeah, that's very nice, very nice. I've never heard a cow noise sound sexy until today. That was... Joel Godard: Oh, you haven't lived. Dan Rodandan: I haven't lived. Yeah. I have to admit, I must not have... Joel Godard: Oh, thanks. You know, you read, you know, stuff on me, the bio stuff. I mean, thanks for leaving out the stuff about the sheep. Dan Rodandan: Of course. Joel Godard: That was a damn lie. Dan Rodandan: That was a damn lie. I mean, I told you I had the negatives. They lie. Sheep lie. Joel Godard: Sheep lie. I mean, I have proof of you lying with the sheep. Dan Rodandan: Yeah, don't believe a word they say. Joel Godard: No. They say, baa, baa. But really, he means good. I liked it. Dan Rodandan: Oh, yeah. I'm sorry if I tear up when I hear that. Ah, the memories. Wistful memories. I was wondering if there's one last thing that you would do for me. It's always been a dream of mine. I've always wanted to do a little bit of announcing for the Thanksgiving Day Parade. I was wondering if you would throw to me, and then I'll talk about what's going on, and then you can tell me whether it went well or what I need to do or some pro tips. Joel Godard: Yes, I need to get the pronunciation right. There's Rodandan. Rodandan. Dan Rodandan. Dan Rodandan. Dan. Dan. Dan Rodandan. Coming up next. See, you have to have that wonderful voice sound. Coming up next, Dan Rodandan on NBC. Dan Rodandan: Thank you, everybody. We got a lot of people coming around. I'm here with Mario Lopez. He's doing push-ups, and we got a wonder dog. Underdog just came around the corner. I think they called that because he's in his underwear. And it looks like, oh, there's Bart Simpson. Look at Bart Simpson. Ronald Reagan didn't seem to like him because of the welfare moms. I don't remember exactly why, but it has something to do with that. And this is brought to you by your sponsor, Scientology. What do you think? Is that good? Joel Godard: Not bad. Dan Rodandan: Not bad? Joel Godard: Not bad. Yeah. Not bad. Not bad. Dan Rodandan: So, I know you said you wouldn't do a promo for me, but... Joel Godard: What the hell? Hi, I'm Joel Godard, and this is acting coach Dan Rodandan, teaching actors how to act. It's the real deal Glockenspiel! Dan Rodandan: Sweet dreams! He actually said my name. I can't believe it. I'm the happiest boy in the world. It's Christmas morning. Thank you so much, Joel Godard. You are a prince among men, and a man among horses, and a god among kings. Thank you so much. Is there anything else that you'd like to say before I give you those negatives and sort of show you on the Google Maps where those bodies are buried? Joel Godard: Well, you can just shove the negatives in my shirt pocket here. Dan Rodandan: Sure, well, I have it in an envelope. I can just hand you the envelope once you get your arm back. Joel Godard: Okay. Dan Rodandan: But if you want, I'll put it in your shirt pocket. I mean, I don't mind. I like touching people. I like touching lives. Joel Godard: Ah, yes, yes. Oh, those were the days. Those were the days. Dan Rodandan: Well, thank you again so much. What a real treat. Joel Godard: Thank you. Dan Rodandan: Oh, that was some weird, wild stuff. That was some weird, wild stuff, is Johnny Carson used to say before he passed away. Ed McMahon passed away. Who else? A lot of people in late night passed away, but not Joel Godard. Thank God for that. He's a real treat, isn't he? Did you like the sound of his voice? I know I did. All that stuff he was talking about. I thought he would talk a lot more about gardening, but beautiful voice. I would like that man to narrate my dreams. They're all nightmares, and that would really take the edge off, I think. Just imagine Joel Godard saying things like, oh yes, there's a small mouse who's destroying the crust of the world from another dimension. Everybody you know has passed away. I'm Joel Godard. Wake up. Wake up. Live the waking nightmare that is your life. teachingactorshowtoact@gmail.com. Joel Godard: Hi, this is Joel Godard. For a good time, call Dan Rodandan. 917-214-8DAN.