{
  "language": "en-us",
  "text": "**Dan Rodandan:** Hello everyone, I'm Dan Rodandan, and this here is a character voice.\n\n[sings]\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** Thank you. As you heard there, that was me singing in a character voice, a little bit Shakespearean, as they said in the old days back at the Globe Theatre. A globe is a thing that's sort of a map of the world, but it's round, so you can actually see the correct perspective.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** What the fuck?\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** Well, the reason I'm saying it is because I would like to gain a little bit of perspective, as they say perspective, on what it means to be an actor here in Los Angeles, as the Palomalu tribe, which I just invented in my head, a little fake backstory, thank you, would like to call this area the Hawaiian Gardens area of Los Angeles, where you were a native of, is that correct?\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Am I? Yeah.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** Okay. Well, uh...\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Yeah, I'm living here. That doesn't make any sense.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** They call it Hawaiian Gardens because it's, that sounds nice. Doesn't it sound nice?\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** It sounds much nicer than it actually is.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** It's not sounding nice with a knife to your fucking mouth.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** No, it doesn't sound like much of anything except wet pants and an empty wallet when you have a knife to your throat.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** You said it. Somebody's asking you, hey, give me the contents.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** 30 years strong in this neighborhood. It sucks ass.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** You've lived here for 30 years.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Yes.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** As I said, this is my guest. He is my neighbor. Hello.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** I'm Freddie Leavis.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** Freddie Leavis. Freddie Leavis. He was a guy who convinced me for a couple months that he was our landlord, so I ended up paying both of our rents, and I never got any of that back.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** How you doing, Dan? Gained a friend out of it.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** I'm doing better. How are you doing?\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Doing great. How's the acting going?\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** The acting so far is a miss and miss, but...\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Miss and miss?\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** You know the old expression, hit and miss.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Hit and miss. Yeah, but I'm still waiting for that first hit to them. Hopefully it'll be a home run. Not that I'm much of a baseball fan.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** Miss and miss makes me think of when I'm going through the drive-thru with a couple of ladies.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Yeah, you and two gals. Miss and miss.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** You've made love to two women at the same time before, is that correct?\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Absolutely.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** And do you find that that is an overcomplicated experience, or do you think that you still achieve the same level of intimacy that you can with a single partner?\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Dan, I'm here to tell you, if it's doing chicks, if it's doing acting, if it's doing competitive eating. As long as you're doing it, right? You just stop caring so much. All this fucking character voices, all this... I don't know what you do. You wax your eyebrows.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** Yeah, I do.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** I don't know what you do.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** I try to do push-ups before I go to sleep.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Listen, I booked a commercial.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** A commercial what?\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** A commercial gig.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** A commercial acting gig? Like a television commercial?\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Like a radio gig. A radio commercial.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** You do the voice for a radio commercial?\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Doing a radio spot coming out.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** Are you serious?\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Yeah.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** How did you fall into this?\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** I fall into that. You know, auditions all over the place.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** You audition?\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Yeah.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** All right. Well, this is the first time here.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** I was, you know, remember when we had that discussion where you thought I was your roommate?\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** Yeah.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Not your roommate, your landlord.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** Well, I thought you were my roommate, too, for a little while when you moved in for a week.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** You know, you just got to step in and grab something and step out again.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** And I would like that coffee maker back at some point.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** The old step in, step out, bring it to the pawn shop.\n\n[sings]\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** Step by step, day by day.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** What the fuck? That was another television show. You gotta quit singing to me. Just talk like a real person.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** You don't like the sing-song nature of my natural speaking voice?\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Listen. Look. Listen, I want you to read this Olive Garden thing.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** Olive Garden, sure. You been to the Olive Garden?\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Yes, I have been to the Olive Garden. I've really, really taken advantage of the unlimited soup and salad.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** So a guy like you, a guy, you're going to overanalyze this. You're going to go, okay, what is the Olive Garden? Like, who's someone that goes to the Olive Garden?\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Yeah, who are they? What is this?\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** Okay, so I want you to read this, and then I'm going to tell you what you're doing wrong.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Okay.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** Okay.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Olive Garden, 30-second radio, quote, Garnish, end quote.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** Snooze my fucking nose off. Snooze my nose off. That's what you're making me do.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Oh, sorry, I was just slating.\n\nHiya, recognize me? I'm Garnish of a dinner plate Garnish's. Yep, the little green guy on the side of your plate. Currently residing at the Olive Garden USA, otherwise known as the Big Leagues. These days, I am riding shotgun with a new dish called Alfredo stuffed shells, three jumbo shells stuffed with four cheeses and topped with a creamy seafood sauce. Yep, together we are creating quite a scene. People ogling me on my new ride as we swing through the restaurant saying, hey, what's that? Or, wow, that looks good. Sure, it's tough being famous. But you get used to it.\n\nDan, what the fuck? Come on, man.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** Okay, come on. What was I doing wrong? Where do I have room to improve?\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** What kind of game show you step off of?\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** What kind of game show?\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** I'd love to be on a game show.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** You go like this. Hey, Freddie Leavis, Olive Garden. Hey, recognize me? I'm garnish of the dinner. You don't even have to read it. Just say like, hey, listen, I'm Olive Garden. I'm stuffed shells. Three jumbo shells stuffed with four cheeses topped with creamy seafood sauce. Yep, we're good. Wow, I'm amazing.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Fuck this. I'll see you at the check cashing joint.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** Wow. I mean, you didn't say all the words that were in the copy, but I can tell you that you won me over with your, uh, uh, uh, and I don't use this word lightly, animal magnetism.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Wow.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** My blood, my heart is pounding. Uh, I have, uh, uh, I have a headache. Uh, my ear, I can hear my heart beat in my ear on one side.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Keep blowing smoke up my ass. I gotta put a screen door on my ass. Keep blowing smoke up my ass. I gotta put a screen door in my ass.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** And a screen door won't even stop smoke, which is what I love so much about the expression.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Will you shut the hell up?\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** I'm sorry. I'm just a compliment. God damn it. I'm just trying to...\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Look, we're all... we're all men here. We're all adults. We all like... I don't know what you are.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** I don't know what you are either.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** You're a trickster of any stripe, every stripe. I'm just a guy trying not to bust people's heads anymore.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** Let's talk about the past. What happened in the old days when you would take those fisticuffs of yours and put them broadside a person's cabeza?\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Basically, I was at this bar called Boomers and some guy dropped a shotgun on my head. A fully loaded shotgun. The shotgun went off. I'm deaf in one ear. Moved here. That was 30 years ago.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** What do you mean he dropped it on your head? Like he was standing above you, he let it go, it landed on your head and fired?\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Yes.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** Or he hit you in the head with it?\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** It's as simple as that. It's cut and dry, goddammit.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** So literally, he dropped a shotgun on your head. Were you lying on the ground or were you on a bar stool? Where did this happen?\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** I was hanging out a window.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** You were hanging out a window. A guy on a story, one story, two stories off, drops a shotgun, hits you in the forehead. The bullet explodes. You're deaf in one ear. All of a sudden, you decide to make a life change. Let's move to the Hawaiian Gardens area.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Listen, if you're hanging out in a Boomers window and some guy drops a fucking shotgun on your head, it goes off, you're deaf in one ear. If you don't reconsider your life situation at that point, you're a fucking idiot.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** You're right. You are a fucking idiot. Christ. Read this Anthem copy.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Okay, Anthem, what is that?\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** I don't know, but you put a card in your wallet and the doctor's, I don't know.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** PNC Anthem, 30 VO. Achievement starts small and dreams big.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** It's like you're doing this to make me angry.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Achievement loves staying close to home, but it isn't afraid to stretch its legs once in a while. It helps you keep the lights on and it knows when to turn them off. Achievement is all around us, a part of our very lives. At PNC, we help make achievement happen in your financial life and beyond. PNC, for the achiever in us all.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** All right. Now, I think you and I both have no idea what this copy is about. It seems to be about motivation.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Motivation or it's a bank or some shit.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** It could be a bank or a hospital. A blood bank. Probably a blood bank.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Listen, they want to hear that. You go this. Achievement starts small and dreams big. Achievement loves staying close to home. Do you know what the fuck this is?\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** Do I know what the fuck this is? Why are we talking about lights? Why are we talking about achievement? PNC for the achiever in us all. I don't know.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Listen, I made $2,500 walking into a studio without a shirt on, grabbing the microphone and just doing that.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** Really? $2,500.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** $2,500? I paid me and my daughter's rent.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** If I had $2,000. You have a child.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Yes, three.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** Three children.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Not children, no more. They're grown.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** Yes. You have a daughter?\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Yes.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** And what, two sons?\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Yes.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** That's wonderful.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Sure. Sure, buddy.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** You, uh, you, you, uh, you see them around the holidays, or—\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Yeah, going back to, uh, going back to the sticks.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** Yeah. Yeah, you gotta swing by Boomers.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** If I do there's gonna be hell to pay.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** I bet there is, knowing you. Uh, uh, that's wonderful, that's wonderful to know that. Hey, listen, do you have a juicer?\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** A juicer?\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** Yeah.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Well, I have a, well, I, I have, I have a, like it's sort of a, it's a small... you could do orange juice on it. You smash the oranges into the small thing. Just one of those clamp things.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** No, I'm not going to. I need something to sell. I don't have a high-powered Jack LaLanne-style juicer.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** They liked that coffee pot at the pawn shop.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** They liked it?\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Yes.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** Well, I liked it, too, when I stole it from the middle school break room. See, you're not so high and mighty.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Are you talking about me stealing your coffee pot? You stole the coffee pot.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** I still have... two wrongs don't make a right, as we all know. But I want to thank you. I want to thank you for your time. I want to thank you for your...\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Is that it?\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** Well, I don't know. Is there something... do you have something you want to plug? Do you have something you want to talk about?\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Yeah. Hey, come on down. I'm making brisket.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** Everybody?\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Yeah.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** You're sharing food?\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Yeah. 5 p.m. to 7 p.m. New Year's Eve. I got all the brisket you can stuff in your fucking face.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** All right. Well, I'm going to be making a personal appearance at the brisket party, and you can come and meet me, and we can talk about acting, and we can talk about brisket, and try not to talk to him in his left ear when you meet him, because he will not necessarily respond.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** I won't hear you.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** Let's play the music. Dan Rodandan, and what was your name? I said, let's sing together. Everybody.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** Freddie Leavis.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** Freddie Leavis. Now, Leavis me alone.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** You asked.\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. You're a close friend of mine. We'll hang out. You are very lucky I'm not your roommate.\n\n**Freddie Leavis:** I know that.",
  "paragraphs": [
    "**Dan Rodandan:** Hello everyone, I'm Dan Rodandan, and this here is a character voice.",
    "[sings]",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** Thank you. As you heard there, that was me singing in a character voice, a little bit Shakespearean, as they said in the old days back at the Globe Theatre. A globe is a thing that's sort of a map of the world, but it's round, so you can actually see the correct perspective.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** What the fuck?",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** Well, the reason I'm saying it is because I would like to gain a little bit of perspective, as they say perspective, on what it means to be an actor here in Los Angeles, as the Palomalu tribe, which I just invented in my head, a little fake backstory, thank you, would like to call this area the Hawaiian Gardens area of Los Angeles, where you were a native of, is that correct?",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Am I? Yeah.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** Okay. Well, uh...",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Yeah, I'm living here. That doesn't make any sense.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** They call it Hawaiian Gardens because it's, that sounds nice. Doesn't it sound nice?",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** It sounds much nicer than it actually is.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** It's not sounding nice with a knife to your fucking mouth.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** No, it doesn't sound like much of anything except wet pants and an empty wallet when you have a knife to your throat.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** You said it. Somebody's asking you, hey, give me the contents.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** 30 years strong in this neighborhood. It sucks ass.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** You've lived here for 30 years.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Yes.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** As I said, this is my guest. He is my neighbor. Hello.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** I'm Freddie Leavis.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** Freddie Leavis. Freddie Leavis. He was a guy who convinced me for a couple months that he was our landlord, so I ended up paying both of our rents, and I never got any of that back.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** How you doing, Dan? Gained a friend out of it.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** I'm doing better. How are you doing?",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Doing great. How's the acting going?",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** The acting so far is a miss and miss, but...",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Miss and miss?",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** You know the old expression, hit and miss.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Hit and miss. Yeah, but I'm still waiting for that first hit to them. Hopefully it'll be a home run. Not that I'm much of a baseball fan.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** Miss and miss makes me think of when I'm going through the drive-thru with a couple of ladies.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Yeah, you and two gals. Miss and miss.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** You've made love to two women at the same time before, is that correct?",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Absolutely.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** And do you find that that is an overcomplicated experience, or do you think that you still achieve the same level of intimacy that you can with a single partner?",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Dan, I'm here to tell you, if it's doing chicks, if it's doing acting, if it's doing competitive eating. As long as you're doing it, right? You just stop caring so much. All this fucking character voices, all this... I don't know what you do. You wax your eyebrows.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** Yeah, I do.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** I don't know what you do.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** I try to do push-ups before I go to sleep.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Listen, I booked a commercial.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** A commercial what?",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** A commercial gig.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** A commercial acting gig? Like a television commercial?",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Like a radio gig. A radio commercial.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** You do the voice for a radio commercial?",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Doing a radio spot coming out.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** Are you serious?",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Yeah.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** How did you fall into this?",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** I fall into that. You know, auditions all over the place.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** You audition?",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Yeah.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** All right. Well, this is the first time here.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** I was, you know, remember when we had that discussion where you thought I was your roommate?",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** Yeah.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Not your roommate, your landlord.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** Well, I thought you were my roommate, too, for a little while when you moved in for a week.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** You know, you just got to step in and grab something and step out again.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** And I would like that coffee maker back at some point.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** The old step in, step out, bring it to the pawn shop.",
    "[sings]",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** Step by step, day by day.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** What the fuck? That was another television show. You gotta quit singing to me. Just talk like a real person.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** You don't like the sing-song nature of my natural speaking voice?",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Listen. Look. Listen, I want you to read this Olive Garden thing.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** Olive Garden, sure. You been to the Olive Garden?",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Yes, I have been to the Olive Garden. I've really, really taken advantage of the unlimited soup and salad.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** So a guy like you, a guy, you're going to overanalyze this. You're going to go, okay, what is the Olive Garden? Like, who's someone that goes to the Olive Garden?",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Yeah, who are they? What is this?",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** Okay, so I want you to read this, and then I'm going to tell you what you're doing wrong.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Okay.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** Okay.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Olive Garden, 30-second radio, quote, Garnish, end quote.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** Snooze my fucking nose off. Snooze my nose off. That's what you're making me do.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Oh, sorry, I was just slating.\n\nHiya, recognize me? I'm Garnish of a dinner plate Garnish's. Yep, the little green guy on the side of your plate. Currently residing at the Olive Garden USA, otherwise known as the Big Leagues. These days, I am riding shotgun with a new dish called Alfredo stuffed shells, three jumbo shells stuffed with four cheeses and topped with a creamy seafood sauce. Yep, together we are creating quite a scene. People ogling me on my new ride as we swing through the restaurant saying, hey, what's that? Or, wow, that looks good. Sure, it's tough being famous. But you get used to it.\n\nDan, what the fuck? Come on, man.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** Okay, come on. What was I doing wrong? Where do I have room to improve?",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** What kind of game show you step off of?",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** What kind of game show?",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** I'd love to be on a game show.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** You go like this. Hey, Freddie Leavis, Olive Garden. Hey, recognize me? I'm garnish of the dinner. You don't even have to read it. Just say like, hey, listen, I'm Olive Garden. I'm stuffed shells. Three jumbo shells stuffed with four cheeses topped with creamy seafood sauce. Yep, we're good. Wow, I'm amazing.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Fuck this. I'll see you at the check cashing joint.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** Wow. I mean, you didn't say all the words that were in the copy, but I can tell you that you won me over with your, uh, uh, uh, and I don't use this word lightly, animal magnetism.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Wow.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** My blood, my heart is pounding. Uh, I have, uh, uh, I have a headache. Uh, my ear, I can hear my heart beat in my ear on one side.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Keep blowing smoke up my ass. I gotta put a screen door on my ass. Keep blowing smoke up my ass. I gotta put a screen door in my ass.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** And a screen door won't even stop smoke, which is what I love so much about the expression.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Will you shut the hell up?",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** I'm sorry. I'm just a compliment. God damn it. I'm just trying to...",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Look, we're all... we're all men here. We're all adults. We all like... I don't know what you are.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** I don't know what you are either.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** You're a trickster of any stripe, every stripe. I'm just a guy trying not to bust people's heads anymore.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** Let's talk about the past. What happened in the old days when you would take those fisticuffs of yours and put them broadside a person's cabeza?",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Basically, I was at this bar called Boomers and some guy dropped a shotgun on my head. A fully loaded shotgun. The shotgun went off. I'm deaf in one ear. Moved here. That was 30 years ago.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** What do you mean he dropped it on your head? Like he was standing above you, he let it go, it landed on your head and fired?",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Yes.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** Or he hit you in the head with it?",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** It's as simple as that. It's cut and dry, goddammit.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** So literally, he dropped a shotgun on your head. Were you lying on the ground or were you on a bar stool? Where did this happen?",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** I was hanging out a window.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** You were hanging out a window. A guy on a story, one story, two stories off, drops a shotgun, hits you in the forehead. The bullet explodes. You're deaf in one ear. All of a sudden, you decide to make a life change. Let's move to the Hawaiian Gardens area.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Listen, if you're hanging out in a Boomers window and some guy drops a fucking shotgun on your head, it goes off, you're deaf in one ear. If you don't reconsider your life situation at that point, you're a fucking idiot.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** You're right. You are a fucking idiot. Christ. Read this Anthem copy.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Okay, Anthem, what is that?",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** I don't know, but you put a card in your wallet and the doctor's, I don't know.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** PNC Anthem, 30 VO. Achievement starts small and dreams big.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** It's like you're doing this to make me angry.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Achievement loves staying close to home, but it isn't afraid to stretch its legs once in a while. It helps you keep the lights on and it knows when to turn them off. Achievement is all around us, a part of our very lives. At PNC, we help make achievement happen in your financial life and beyond. PNC, for the achiever in us all.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** All right. Now, I think you and I both have no idea what this copy is about. It seems to be about motivation.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Motivation or it's a bank or some shit.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** It could be a bank or a hospital. A blood bank. Probably a blood bank.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Listen, they want to hear that. You go this. Achievement starts small and dreams big. Achievement loves staying close to home. Do you know what the fuck this is?",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** Do I know what the fuck this is? Why are we talking about lights? Why are we talking about achievement? PNC for the achiever in us all. I don't know.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Listen, I made $2,500 walking into a studio without a shirt on, grabbing the microphone and just doing that.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** Really? $2,500.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** $2,500? I paid me and my daughter's rent.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** If I had $2,000. You have a child.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Yes, three.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** Three children.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Not children, no more. They're grown.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** Yes. You have a daughter?",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Yes.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** And what, two sons?",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Yes.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** That's wonderful.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Sure. Sure, buddy.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** You, uh, you, you, uh, you see them around the holidays, or—",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Yeah, going back to, uh, going back to the sticks.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** Yeah. Yeah, you gotta swing by Boomers.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** If I do there's gonna be hell to pay.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** I bet there is, knowing you. Uh, uh, that's wonderful, that's wonderful to know that. Hey, listen, do you have a juicer?",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** A juicer?",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** Yeah.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Well, I have a, well, I, I have, I have a, like it's sort of a, it's a small... you could do orange juice on it. You smash the oranges into the small thing. Just one of those clamp things.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** No, I'm not going to. I need something to sell. I don't have a high-powered Jack LaLanne-style juicer.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** They liked that coffee pot at the pawn shop.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** They liked it?",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Yes.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** Well, I liked it, too, when I stole it from the middle school break room. See, you're not so high and mighty.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Are you talking about me stealing your coffee pot? You stole the coffee pot.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** I still have... two wrongs don't make a right, as we all know. But I want to thank you. I want to thank you for your time. I want to thank you for your...",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Is that it?",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** Well, I don't know. Is there something... do you have something you want to plug? Do you have something you want to talk about?",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Yeah. Hey, come on down. I'm making brisket.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** Everybody?",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Yeah.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** You're sharing food?",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Yeah. 5 p.m. to 7 p.m. New Year's Eve. I got all the brisket you can stuff in your fucking face.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** All right. Well, I'm going to be making a personal appearance at the brisket party, and you can come and meet me, and we can talk about acting, and we can talk about brisket, and try not to talk to him in his left ear when you meet him, because he will not necessarily respond.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** I won't hear you.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** Let's play the music. Dan Rodandan, and what was your name? I said, let's sing together. Everybody.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** Freddie Leavis.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** Freddie Leavis. Now, Leavis me alone.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** You asked.",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. You're a close friend of mine. We'll hang out. You are very lucky I'm not your roommate.",
    "**Freddie Leavis:** I know that."
  ]
}