{
  "language": "en-us",
  "text": "**Dan Rodandan:** Dan Rodandan is my name and I'm the one to listen to about acting. Acting, as you can see, is a near rhyme with the first lyric, which is Dan Rodandan is my name, which is the truth. My name is Dan Rodandan. Dan Rodandan, acting coach, acting coach to the stars. And I can say that confidently because I have rooftop access in my apartment here in the Hawaiian Gardens area of Los Angeles. And I like to howl at the moon, like the wolves, like the wolves of the night, the children of the night, like the children of my parents, who I have not called in a while. Maybe I should, because I miss them. And I'll tell you the truth, they haven't called me or texted me in a while.\n\nBut the important thing is that I have to apologize. First thing I have to do is I have to apologize because I have a cold. I have a bit of a cold right now, so my voice is in a lower register. It's not my normal theatrical voice. Yeah, hello, hello, hello, echo. As you would hear if I were in the mountains, which is something that I, as an actor, I made you think I was in the mountains. But no, I'm in my apartment talking into my iPod Touch. But no, I do have a cold. I have not been sleeping well at night because of the coughing. And as you know, I do not have health insurance. Or I guess maybe you didn't know that. But either way, you know now because I just told you. Because I'm not a member of SAG. And if I was, I do not make enough money to be a part of their health insurance scheme, as I would say. But if you can't afford regular medication, afford self-medication. I've had a couple of drops, had a couple of drinks. Dribs and drabs of alcohol, which is the medication of James Dean and Hemingway and other people of interest.\n\nBut the point is, I am an acting coach, Dan Rodandan, teaching actors how to act. And one of the key topics that I would like to talk about today is headshots. Headshots. What are headshots? Now, I'm not talking about getting shot in the head, which is the things that happen in this area of Los Angeles, the Hawaiian Gardens area of Los Angeles. I have seen my share of corpses in person and on television. But television is the most important thing to talk about, as that is where acting is done, and directing is done, and writing is done. And headshots are actually photographs of you, not only of your head. Don't be misled. That's almost a freestyle rap there. I'm not going to continue with that, but I could. Right, said Fred, drop dead. I'm just kidding.\n\nBut either way, getting a headshot, getting an appropriate picture of yourself, you put your resume on the back, you hand it to a casting director, and they say you got the part. If you're lucky. If you're not, they say thank you for this. I'll hold on to it, and maybe I'll get back to you if another project comes along that you might be right for. But there never is another project, is there? Because, well, I don't know. I mean, I haven't waited. Maybe there will be another project. I mean, a man can hope. A man can dream. A man can howl at the stars.\n\nBut the most important thing about getting a good headshot is make sure you have a reputable person taking the picture. Don't do it yourself. Don't stand in your bathroom with your iPod Touch, take a picture of yourself, because your headshot will be you in a bathroom holding an iPod Touch, which there are very limited roles for an actor who is framed that way. So get a stranger to take your pictures and pay them an appropriate amount of money and don't let them just put an Instagram filter on it and hand it back to you. Get a real person. I did that. I spent $800 on a headshot so I got one good one and it's finally starting to pay off because I got myself an audition. An audition that turned into a role, which is how all auditions should end.\n\nIn a student film, a student short by a young director, a 14-year-old, it's a middle school student short, by a YouTube sensation, Giovanni Guzmales of this area of the Hawaiian Gardens area. He's got a lot of videos of himself up on YouTube right now dancing in the Apple Store and he finally got himself his own computer or rather he got himself an iPad with a camera on it and he cast me, Dan Rodandan, in the lead role in his thesis project. It's called *The Fart Police*, where I play lead detective, lead detective Tudor Bear, who is a full-grown teddy bear who instead of carrying a gun as a detective uses his own flatulence to investigate and prosecute criminals.\n\nSo it's my first cop drama, also kind of a medical drama if you think about the affliction that Officer Tudor Bear is afflicted with. Gastrointestinal distress, which is something I know about personally, which happens when you eat spoiled food or old mayonnaise or things that I've done to survive. I've done a lot of things to survive out here in Los Angeles. But the point is, the point is that I'm very excited to be working with a young director, somebody who I have not worked with before, and somebody who's younger than me, quite a bit younger than me, even less than half my age. I feel like I have a lot to learn. I also feel like I have a lot to teach. So if he asks me questions, que sera, sera, whatever will be, will be. Maybe this will be my... maybe I'll get a directing credit for helping the other actors or teddy bears or whatever else is going to be in the piece. I hope that this gets me an IMDb credit. If I could get this into Sundance, that would be the dream. We'll see.\n\nAgain, I'd like to apologize. I've had a bit to drink tonight. I've, it hasn't all been alcohol. Some of it's been juice, a lot of cranberry juice. I have a urinary tract infection, which is not that funny. But getting back to acting. Acting is an important thing. Is, I guess, the main lesson that I've learned here from Giovanni Guzmales and *The Fart Police* and my station or situation in life right now is say yes to everything. If somebody offers you a role, say yes enthusiastically because you never know what's going to be good and you never know what's going to be bad. I mean, there are many, many projects. I mean, you hear it all the time that actors have turned down that ended up being amazing. Sylvester Stallone turned down *Beverly Hills Cop*, which was a sort of made Eddie Murphy's career, and uh uh he then made *Cobra*, Stallone did, which was a huge hit, which proves my point.\n\nUm, uh, maybe maybe a better point that I could make is that uh the film *It Happened One Night*, which which swept the Oscars in the old days back in the black and white when things were simpler, uh uh Claudette Colbert and uh and uh and Clark Gable did not want to work together on this film they did not like each other they were not friends but somehow their chemistry was was heartbreakingly—\n\n[punches microphone]\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** I just punched the microphone on this iPod Touch. I'm getting weepy right now. I guess I, I, I can't, I just, I'm, I have to apologize to you. I have to apologize to you as a man and as a Christian and as a fart policeman and whatever else there is. Either way, say yes to everything. Michael Caine. Michael Caine said, I've made a lot of crap, but I've made a lot of money. And he won a couple awards. The guy is Alfred in the Batman film. He was Samuel L. Jackson before Samuel L. Jackson was Samuel L. Jackson. And that's not a racial thing. Uh, that's an English thing.\n\nUm, but the thing about getting parts is that you have to have a monologue. You have to have a monologue memorized. You have to have a monologue that is, uh, is, is, is suited to you. Something that can show off your talents and express yourself to the casting director. And this is the one that I use. And, uh, look over your right shoulder. Look over your left shoulder. Nobody else is listening. If you want to, you can have this. You could use this yourself. When you audition, they say, oh, you have to come in with a monologue. When you come in to audition, make sure you have a monologue. If they say that, say, okay, I'm ready. And also say, thank you, Dan Rodandan. Because here it comes. Are you ready?\n\nHoist! Hoist up the mantle! Get ready for the castle walls! We will be here and we will be there when the flag raises and falls, when the sun sets and rises on the man of England. Let the blood flow forth like the cannon of the morning and the portage of the hand and the wild and wasteful ocean. If you come near me, good sir, you will have a face full of onion. You will have a broken spirit and a broken back and a broken spine, father to a murdered world. These are the things that come forth when thou doth breaketh thine eggs upon the floor, upon the castle floor. Let my love shine upon thee for the kingdom and the glory and the power forever. Amen. And a woman for a dollar and a dime. Give me your firstborn son, and I will make a man of him, and I will make a lamb of him.\n\nIf you go in there and you do that, the way that I did that just now, you're going to get a slow clap from the costume person, from the assistant director, from the director himself, from the casting director, from the writer. You'll get a slow clap. You might start it. If you go into an audition and you do that and then you start slow clapping yourself, which I have done. One time out of ten they will follow along. That part is yours.\n\nSo what are the key takeaways? Key takeaways are say yes to everything. Say, thank you, when God gives to you with both hands as he has done to me. Say, look at these stars, these stars are the eyes of heaven, and they will be the ones to judge us finally and say, please, don't get sick. It's not fun. Your voice gets lowered and it hurts.\n\n[coughs]\n\n**Dan Rodandan:** Waiting for that one. I've been holding that in a while. That's phlegm. That's blood. A little bit of blood came out. A little bit of greed, a little bit of blood. And the key takeaways are you can do it, if I can do it, you can do it. Well, maybe you can do it. I believe in you, I believe in me. I believe in dreams. I believe in the heart. And that's that, Mattress Man. Let's play the music. Dan Rodandan. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. That's how you count to ten.",
  "paragraphs": [
    "**Dan Rodandan:** Dan Rodandan is my name and I'm the one to listen to about acting. Acting, as you can see, is a near rhyme with the first lyric, which is Dan Rodandan is my name, which is the truth. My name is Dan Rodandan. Dan Rodandan, acting coach, acting coach to the stars. And I can say that confidently because I have rooftop access in my apartment here in the Hawaiian Gardens area of Los Angeles. And I like to howl at the moon, like the wolves, like the wolves of the night, the children of the night, like the children of my parents, who I have not called in a while. Maybe I should, because I miss them. And I'll tell you the truth, they haven't called me or texted me in a while.\n\nBut the important thing is that I have to apologize. First thing I have to do is I have to apologize because I have a cold. I have a bit of a cold right now, so my voice is in a lower register. It's not my normal theatrical voice. Yeah, hello, hello, hello, echo. As you would hear if I were in the mountains, which is something that I, as an actor, I made you think I was in the mountains. But no, I'm in my apartment talking into my iPod Touch. But no, I do have a cold. I have not been sleeping well at night because of the coughing. And as you know, I do not have health insurance. Or I guess maybe you didn't know that. But either way, you know now because I just told you. Because I'm not a member of SAG. And if I was, I do not make enough money to be a part of their health insurance scheme, as I would say. But if you can't afford regular medication, afford self-medication. I've had a couple of drops, had a couple of drinks. Dribs and drabs of alcohol, which is the medication of James Dean and Hemingway and other people of interest.\n\nBut the point is, I am an acting coach, Dan Rodandan, teaching actors how to act. And one of the key topics that I would like to talk about today is headshots. Headshots. What are headshots? Now, I'm not talking about getting shot in the head, which is the things that happen in this area of Los Angeles, the Hawaiian Gardens area of Los Angeles. I have seen my share of corpses in person and on television. But television is the most important thing to talk about, as that is where acting is done, and directing is done, and writing is done. And headshots are actually photographs of you, not only of your head. Don't be misled. That's almost a freestyle rap there. I'm not going to continue with that, but I could. Right, said Fred, drop dead. I'm just kidding.\n\nBut either way, getting a headshot, getting an appropriate picture of yourself, you put your resume on the back, you hand it to a casting director, and they say you got the part. If you're lucky. If you're not, they say thank you for this. I'll hold on to it, and maybe I'll get back to you if another project comes along that you might be right for. But there never is another project, is there? Because, well, I don't know. I mean, I haven't waited. Maybe there will be another project. I mean, a man can hope. A man can dream. A man can howl at the stars.\n\nBut the most important thing about getting a good headshot is make sure you have a reputable person taking the picture. Don't do it yourself. Don't stand in your bathroom with your iPod Touch, take a picture of yourself, because your headshot will be you in a bathroom holding an iPod Touch, which there are very limited roles for an actor who is framed that way. So get a stranger to take your pictures and pay them an appropriate amount of money and don't let them just put an Instagram filter on it and hand it back to you. Get a real person. I did that. I spent $800 on a headshot so I got one good one and it's finally starting to pay off because I got myself an audition. An audition that turned into a role, which is how all auditions should end.\n\nIn a student film, a student short by a young director, a 14-year-old, it's a middle school student short, by a YouTube sensation, Giovanni Guzmales of this area of the Hawaiian Gardens area. He's got a lot of videos of himself up on YouTube right now dancing in the Apple Store and he finally got himself his own computer or rather he got himself an iPad with a camera on it and he cast me, Dan Rodandan, in the lead role in his thesis project. It's called *The Fart Police*, where I play lead detective, lead detective Tudor Bear, who is a full-grown teddy bear who instead of carrying a gun as a detective uses his own flatulence to investigate and prosecute criminals.\n\nSo it's my first cop drama, also kind of a medical drama if you think about the affliction that Officer Tudor Bear is afflicted with. Gastrointestinal distress, which is something I know about personally, which happens when you eat spoiled food or old mayonnaise or things that I've done to survive. I've done a lot of things to survive out here in Los Angeles. But the point is, the point is that I'm very excited to be working with a young director, somebody who I have not worked with before, and somebody who's younger than me, quite a bit younger than me, even less than half my age. I feel like I have a lot to learn. I also feel like I have a lot to teach. So if he asks me questions, que sera, sera, whatever will be, will be. Maybe this will be my... maybe I'll get a directing credit for helping the other actors or teddy bears or whatever else is going to be in the piece. I hope that this gets me an IMDb credit. If I could get this into Sundance, that would be the dream. We'll see.\n\nAgain, I'd like to apologize. I've had a bit to drink tonight. I've, it hasn't all been alcohol. Some of it's been juice, a lot of cranberry juice. I have a urinary tract infection, which is not that funny. But getting back to acting. Acting is an important thing. Is, I guess, the main lesson that I've learned here from Giovanni Guzmales and *The Fart Police* and my station or situation in life right now is say yes to everything. If somebody offers you a role, say yes enthusiastically because you never know what's going to be good and you never know what's going to be bad. I mean, there are many, many projects. I mean, you hear it all the time that actors have turned down that ended up being amazing. Sylvester Stallone turned down *Beverly Hills Cop*, which was a sort of made Eddie Murphy's career, and uh uh he then made *Cobra*, Stallone did, which was a huge hit, which proves my point.\n\nUm, uh, maybe maybe a better point that I could make is that uh the film *It Happened One Night*, which which swept the Oscars in the old days back in the black and white when things were simpler, uh uh Claudette Colbert and uh and uh and Clark Gable did not want to work together on this film they did not like each other they were not friends but somehow their chemistry was was heartbreakingly—",
    "[punches microphone]",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** I just punched the microphone on this iPod Touch. I'm getting weepy right now. I guess I, I, I can't, I just, I'm, I have to apologize to you. I have to apologize to you as a man and as a Christian and as a fart policeman and whatever else there is. Either way, say yes to everything. Michael Caine. Michael Caine said, I've made a lot of crap, but I've made a lot of money. And he won a couple awards. The guy is Alfred in the Batman film. He was Samuel L. Jackson before Samuel L. Jackson was Samuel L. Jackson. And that's not a racial thing. Uh, that's an English thing.\n\nUm, but the thing about getting parts is that you have to have a monologue. You have to have a monologue memorized. You have to have a monologue that is, uh, is, is, is suited to you. Something that can show off your talents and express yourself to the casting director. And this is the one that I use. And, uh, look over your right shoulder. Look over your left shoulder. Nobody else is listening. If you want to, you can have this. You could use this yourself. When you audition, they say, oh, you have to come in with a monologue. When you come in to audition, make sure you have a monologue. If they say that, say, okay, I'm ready. And also say, thank you, Dan Rodandan. Because here it comes. Are you ready?\n\nHoist! Hoist up the mantle! Get ready for the castle walls! We will be here and we will be there when the flag raises and falls, when the sun sets and rises on the man of England. Let the blood flow forth like the cannon of the morning and the portage of the hand and the wild and wasteful ocean. If you come near me, good sir, you will have a face full of onion. You will have a broken spirit and a broken back and a broken spine, father to a murdered world. These are the things that come forth when thou doth breaketh thine eggs upon the floor, upon the castle floor. Let my love shine upon thee for the kingdom and the glory and the power forever. Amen. And a woman for a dollar and a dime. Give me your firstborn son, and I will make a man of him, and I will make a lamb of him.\n\nIf you go in there and you do that, the way that I did that just now, you're going to get a slow clap from the costume person, from the assistant director, from the director himself, from the casting director, from the writer. You'll get a slow clap. You might start it. If you go into an audition and you do that and then you start slow clapping yourself, which I have done. One time out of ten they will follow along. That part is yours.\n\nSo what are the key takeaways? Key takeaways are say yes to everything. Say, thank you, when God gives to you with both hands as he has done to me. Say, look at these stars, these stars are the eyes of heaven, and they will be the ones to judge us finally and say, please, don't get sick. It's not fun. Your voice gets lowered and it hurts.",
    "[coughs]",
    "**Dan Rodandan:** Waiting for that one. I've been holding that in a while. That's phlegm. That's blood. A little bit of blood came out. A little bit of greed, a little bit of blood. And the key takeaways are you can do it, if I can do it, you can do it. Well, maybe you can do it. I believe in you, I believe in me. I believe in dreams. I believe in the heart. And that's that, Mattress Man. Let's play the music. Dan Rodandan. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. That's how you count to ten."
  ]
}