Character Exorcism

Well, the music had stopped before you'd finished, so that's one demerit for you in this acting class.

Before I introduce you, you hear that banging?

A couple of guys are rehearsing for a gong show. They have a gong, they have a hammer. They don't feel confident enough that they can tell untalented people to get off the stage quickly, so they just bang on that right next to my window. I don't know if I should take that personally. I choose not to, because I'm reading a self-help book about not choosing to take things personally. Anyway, it's not working.

Anyway, that voice that you just heard is the voice of Dave Braithwait, a man who many of you have met on the podcast before. He is a second-time guest and a very close personal friend of mine. He was in episode 9, and this is what, episode 31?

So we have Dan Majerle and Shawn Marion. Those are the numbers, I guess, if you follow the Phoenix Suns, and I do, because I love to lose.

Dave Braithwait, the young man, the young man who came in here, he wanted to be the bad guy. He left threatening people who were threatening me. As it turns out, I may have done a little bit more harm than good. I may have created a monster, a Frankenstein, or a golem, as the men who run this town say. And this town, of course, is Hollywood. Hollywood adjacent, the Hawaiian Gardens area. Not exactly Hollywood, but either way, the Jews.

Anyway, I'm here with Dave Braithwait. And Dave, you've got yourself an issue. Your mother has tried to, well, she's threatened me. People are getting worried, and I have to start putting people at ease because they're getting worried that something's going to happen.

All right, so all of this is very, what's the word I'm looking for?

Yes, all of this is very cryptic. So just to catch everybody up, Dave Braithwait is a young man who I had about a year ago. He came into the studio because he didn't know if he wanted to be a biologist because he knew a guy. And his mom said, what do you want to do? He said, I want to be an actor. And I said, what kind of actor do you want to be? He said, I want to be the guy at the first act who says, hey, it was me. Those were her hands.

Anyway, he wanted to be in drama. By the end of the podcast, we had worked out that he was excellent at playing a bad guy. So I got an email and a phone call and an email and two more phone calls and a knock on the door from his mother who said, what the fuck have you done to my son?

Apparently for the past year, you have been living your life as a villain. Is that right? Your method acting as a villain with this voice that you're doing?

So what you mean is that when I leave the house, you come into my house and you sit there and then you leave right before I come home.

And you've been doing this with all the people in your life. Is that right?

And you're really committed to this voice.

You don't remember your other what?

You don't remember your other Bob. My other voice. Your other body.

You've become this now. This is who you are. The red dragon has awoken inside of you. Is that... that's not a book, is it? I thought there might have been a movie.

I don't remember. I am missing a lot of the words that you're saying. Maybe it was a movie. I don't know what a mopey is.

I'm in the danger zone? Is that a Kenny Loggins song?

Two men go into the danger zone? And how many men leave?

Yeah, I heard about the danger zone. But... but I... one of the things that I was wondering about the danger zone is, yes, two men enter. One man leave. But... does one man leave, and then 20 minutes later, one man leave again? Another man? Or does one man have to die?

So two men enters? Two men enter. One man leaves? One man leaves. One man... one man lives there?

In the danger zone?

So I have a quick question for you. I know you've been doing this character for about a year now. Are you more of a Frankenstein or more of a Native American? What are we talking about?

Right. You have a father. Go on.

Let me ask you a quick question. Who's the one who knocks?

Oh, is that on FX?

So you're familiar with the show. You know what network it's on. But you're afraid to reference it because you live in the danger zone.

It's about methamphetamines. Which are a real treat if you get your hands on the good stuff. But I can't.

So Dave, now that we're in the danger zone, are you still interested in being an actor?

Are you willing to go on a journey with me? To try an acting exercise?

Now I know that you've been deep in the method here. You've been deep in the method as a villain, as a bad man, as a man in the danger zone. I was wondering if you could, to use a technical term, flip that script.

And play a young girl.

All right. So you're going to play a young girl. All right. And I'm going to play a, let's say a taxi driver. And I am driving you to your uncle's house because you got lost in the city on a field trip.

And scene. Hold on. Let's start. Hold on. And scene. Okay.

Hello, little girl. My name is Dan Rodandan, the taxi driver. I was wondering if you have anywhere that you'd like to go. Pro bono. Free of charge.

Oh, I'm sorry, young girl. Do you have a cold?

What is it? Is it a secret?

All right. Okay. So, and scene. Thank you. That was terrific. Uh, uh, let's, let's try something else. Let's go, uh, let's say that we are, we're going to do a scene about two people in the High Voice Club. So, uh, you are the, the president of the High Voice Club. And I am, I am a, I am a, I am a fresh applicant of the High Voice Club. I'm trying to get into the High Voice Club. So, and you're interviewing me to see if I have the chops. Go ahead.

I'm sorry I can't hear you. My ears are only tuned to high voices. That's why I'm trying to join the club.

I'm sorry that is still not getting through to me. What was that, sir?

That was closer.

I got voice club.

Oh, thank you. It's wonderful to be here.

So what you're saying is that two men enter the high voice club. And one man leaves?

Dave. What I want you to do is I want you to look me deep in the eyes, okay? Right now we're going to go a bit Meisner about it. You ever heard him? Sanford Meisner? He cut the cake of The Godfather and everybody sucked his dick for 20 years?

So look at me in the eye. I'm going to look at you and I'm going to say, hey, you're Dave Braithwait. Do you agree?

Well, you're... since you're so dangerously close, you must be in the danger zone.

Dave. Dave, can you hear me?

Dave, can you hear me?

Pick up the gun.

Pick up the gun. I can't... Dave.

Pick up the gun.

Pick up the gun.

It's not your fault.

It's not your fault.

Pick up the gun.

Dave, you got him. Dave, you got him. Oh, God. One shot, one kill. Two men enter, one man leave. Oh, no. Dave, leave. Leave the danger zone, Dave. Leave the danger zone, Dave.